Everyone loves a good cuddle, right? Cuddling with a boyfriend makes me feel calm and safe. Touch from a friend makes me feel supported. A hug from my parents makes me feel loved. However, when it comes to affection, everyone is different in the amount of touch they enjoy. Some people love the simple feeling of holding a loved one hands, hugging a friend, cuddling with their significant other, or getting a back massage. On the other hand, some individuals are uncomfortable by the graze of a strangers arm or even a tight hug even from someone they know well. You may think it's no big deal to be someone who doesn't enjoy touch, but affectionate touch has been found to be good for your mind, body, and even livelihood.
There are a number of theories that explain why the simple act of touch is in fact so important to humans' health. One theory entitled Tend and Befriend argues that affectionate expressions actually improve our ability to respond to stress. This seems to make sense when you think of getting a professional massage. You have no idea who this person is, but you pay them money, take off your closes, lay on their little table, and let them touch you all over in a way no one else really ever does. Why would you do such a thing!? Because it feels amazing and it relaxes you. However, the Tend and Befriend theory isn't telling the world to get a massage. What the theory does purpose it that fighting and fleeing is not the primary adaptation for responding to threat. The theory goes on to explain how it doesn't make sense for a woman to go through the fight or flee response because doing so would mean potentially leaving her children behind to deal with danger on their own. Instead, women "tend and befriend" in order to respond to a stressful or dangerous situation. I don't about you, but I find this rather far fetched. What does make sense is this... imagine you've just had a long and stressful day at work and you come feeling like you have a million things to do and not enough time. You walk in the door and you're greeted by a smile and long cozy hug from someone you love. Immediately you feel a little better. The point is that "affectionate behavior leads to a reduction in physiological markers of stress, which leads to better health and well-being"(Westcott-Baker, 2011)
A second theory on the benefits of affection is called Somatosensory Affectional Deprivation Theory. This theory takes touch and affection out of the context of a relieving stress, and focuses on fundamental developmental needs. The theory explains how infants need stimulation of three sensory modalities in order to develop. The first is the vestibular-cerebellar system. The vestibular system is the "sensory system that provides the leading contribution to movement and a sense of balance"(Wikipedia, 2011) The vestibular-cerebellar system is where the vestibular system sends signals to cerebellum, and is necessary for postnatal movement. The second sensory modality is the somesthetic system, where "sensory data is derived from skin, muscles, and body organs"(Medilexicon, 2011) Finally, stimulation is required in the olfactory system, which enables us to smell. For infants, sense of smell is exceptionally important because it gives them the "ability to identify their caregivers by scent" (Westcott-Baker, 2011). The theory goes on to explain evolutionary reasons for affectionate communication, such as that it "promotes the establishment and maintenance of significant pair-bonds, which leads to gaining access to material and emotional resources" (Westcott-Baker, 2011). For example, by having a tight knit group of friends and family who share affection, love, and trust, together you all increase the accessibility of material resources such as food and shelter, but also you gain an increase in emotional support, all of which help you survive and reproduce.
Who knew affection could actually help you survive!? Think of days you have more affection than others... you most likely felt happy and more at ease on the days you experienced the affectionate. Think of life without a support system of friends and family. It not only sounds lonely, but it sounds scary. Could you cope with that? Realizing how therapeutic and positive affection can be has the ability to make you a happier, healthier, less stressed out, and can have positive influences on your relationships as well!
Lecture: Amber-Westcott Baker. (May 26, 2011).
http://www.medilexicon.com/medicaldictionary.php?t=89361
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vestibular_system
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